I’ve not been to many family reunions – in fact I’ve never lived near much of my family. I grew up in a great home, but the extended family was kind of a random experience and concept more than a reality. This weekend we are joining with a bunch of adults and 11 kids (all 11 in one house) for a Schrock family reunion…it is bitter sweet.
Not bitter because of any uncomfortable people or awkward silences or things in our past we just don’t talk about – bitter because I have a tiny puddle of memories of most of the family in which I can reflect and reminisce. Bitter because this family really does go over and above to love God, each other and whoever else happens to come along, and I’m not around to be a part of it. Bitter because I know that I won’t see them again for at least one more year, if then. But sweet.
Sweet because they do love God first and everyone else as they should. Sweet because they are truly interested in what you are doing, your kids and your home. Sweet because they go out of their way to connect with our kids and start a connection. Sweet because there is so much junk in our past but no one lets that hold them down.
I thank God for my wife and kids – and this weekend I’m reminded how thankful I am for the rest of the loud, fast driving, gotta try a new back road way that gets us all lost Schrocks.
This morning’s computer desk, coffee…truck that hasn’t moved {I always hated commuting anyways} and Coldplay and YouVersion. A light Tennessee breeze, the sun cutting through the trees in beams highlighting one set of trees for a bit then moving on to another…and my view?
All this nature with high speed wireless and Amy making us breakfast – I might make it home again…maybe.
The beginning of a perfect day? Just maybe. Take a listen here.
I’ve been thinking about words…words are meant to convey something clearly – but so often they fail so we use images and hand motions and movies and songs to try and first pull out of us and define in ourselves what it is we feel – and then we use those means to share with others in a way that says to them “this is how I feel, right now”.
But what about right now when there are no words that truly sum up a feeling? What about the times when the images only make things worse and comparing stories often brings up new mixed feelings that we then have to process. I suppose these are the times when we just need to be.
Today I just wanted to be. I just wanted to sit in my home and hold my wife and kids and just be. But we need each other – all of us. And we need people to help us process and verbalize and respond in times like this – and for some reason God has allowed me the honor of being a part of that process in a tangible way.
We gathered tonight for Transit – our first gathering in a month…and I pray that people heard God in their spirits. Because my words just couldn’t do it…none really can. I grieve for the family – for us as a family of God. I ache and cry and question and wonder and believe…and these battle inside of me. Moments alternate between one and then the other and then normalcy…normal. The new normal will come sometime later – shifts like this take time to settle.
As of this moment there are 197 comments to and about Ms. Tania on the Faith Assembly web site – all people desperately needing to convey something to the family, God and the world that they are feeling. I commend everyone for responding and I know the family will be encouraged when the dust settles and they are able to read of everyone’s love and compassion.
Words. Words are great, but tonight I don’t have anymore…I can only just be.
No, not me…I have what they call “obligations towards a wife, children, parents and financial debt.” So that and the not being catholic thing rule me out pretty quickly – and the whole “I should be out in the world reaching people” thing….but that’s just me.
Our family had pictures taken tonight by some of our friends from church {Tammy Bevins Photography} and the location was incredible. We romped around the Mepkin Abbey out in the Pinopolis area. The setting was great – quite, wooded, right on the river, brick steps all around, old gates and the like. It was a bit warm but not too bad and the kids did really well. I’m excited to see the pictures that will come out of the experience.
The place is a working Monkastary. It was interesting. I checked out their site – monks with a web site, funny to me – anyway, it appears that the “things to consider” when considering monkhood are also things to consider when follow Christ the non-monkish way. The following is from their site.
Things to Consider
— Are you willing to enter into a very different way of life which will demand that you change your present way of doing things?
— Can you take directions, corrections, criticisms, and directives from others in authority, such as an abbot, novice director, or the person in charge of your work?
— Can you work at whatever task is assigned and find satisfaction in it?
— Do you value human relationships and are you willing to cultivate them?
— Can you respond positively to the inevitable confrontations and conflicts that are part of all human relationships, and which call us to personal conversion?
— Can you spend time in solitude so that it is creative and conducive to growth?
— Are you drawn to a life of prayer? Are you inclined to more than just saying prayers or devoting moments of the day to prayer? Are you interested in a whole life of continual prayer that permeates every dimension of life?
Maybe we should put these things on our church sites…might clear things up for people.
So things are moving towards Haiti. The trip is locked in, the reality not so much. The kids helped up select a child to sponsor a couple of weeks ago – a 5 year old boy from Haiti…Francy Le’on. Turns out his family has 4 kids also and he loves soccer and playing with cars. I’m trying to line up a chance to see him and take him some things from our family when we are there – but in reality I get a little nervous about it. Not for myself but for my emotional self…
Things like they have a “hunger month” listed for this family – that month of the year where they are most prone to have nothing to eat. And that their average family monthly income is only $24 – for a family of 6! $24 / 6 = $4 for each member of the family each month. Our little sponsorship amount has doubled what this family brought in before. Incredible. Sobering. I thank God we have this money to give.
A little Haiti media for your Thursday maybe? Ok, here you go…”Haiti” by The Arcade Fire
who's to blame?
Travis...Who has the honor of serving at Faith Assembly as the young adult {Transit} pastor – and helping with web sites and graphic design. The thoughts, videos and music on this site are my choosing – don’t blame the church!
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No, not me…I have what they call “obligations towards a wife, children, parents and financial debt.” So that and the not being catholic thing rule me out pretty quickly – and the whole “I should be out in the world reaching people” thing….but that’s just me.